Bezness in Egypt: Sharm-Cairo.

[Libera]

Dear Ladies,

I am sorry but I cannot speak English fluently.

I am going to resume my "experience":

1) I knew "my boyfriend" in Sharm. He was a taxi driver. He worked together with other people. [Note: people in Sharm said me "hallo" and "where do you come from?", and me I answered. They looked very friendly. BUT: behind my shouldern they said that I was a bitch, since me -a woman- I talked with them -men-].

2) A night the collegues of "my boyfriend" told me that his father was going to die. They asked me to think what I could do to help him [money!]. "My boyfriend" went urgently [money!] to Cairo, by one of his collegue's taxi.

3) I was very worried for him, and I went to Cairo, too. I went there by taxi [money!] with a collegue of "my boyfriend". There "my boyfriend" rent a flat [money!], but there was no forniture. He rent another flat [money!], but there was no water. I moved to an hotel [money!], and then to another (because the first one was really too expensive) [money!]. "My boyfriend" rent another flat [money!]. He had the need of money for purchasing an handy phone, for working, for healing his father, ...., and I helped him [money!]. I signed a "ghorfi" -it was written in Arabic, and I didn't know that it was a marriage contract. "My partner" told me that it was a police [money!] report. A day after he told me that it was a marriage contract-. I thought that the "ghorfi" corresponded to a Western engagement.

4) I wanted to live with him, and I left the University of my country. I wanted to work in Egypt. I followed an Arabic course [money!], and then I found a job in Sharm. But, for living there -flat [money!], food-, the salary was too low.

5) I went back home to my country. At telephone, "my boyfriend" told me that he needed money. I went back to Cairo, and I wished to work there. I lived in several apartments [money!] and hotels [money!]. I couldn't find a job: I couldn't speak Arabic (and I wasn't Egyptian). "My boyfriend" still had problems, always new ones.

6) I went back to my countryhome again. At telephone, "my partner" told me that he had problems. I went to Cairo, and I lived with him in a flat [money!]. But ... by chance, I found out that "my boyfriend" had the pictures of a woman and a child with him. He told me that they were his sister and his nephew. I still helped him, but I started thinking that he wasn't honest with me.

7) I went back home again. There I understood that I was pregnant. I stayed in my country, in order to be able to work. I could spare some money, and I sent this money to "my boyfriend", for him to join me. He used that money to solve his "Egyptian problems" [money!].

The child was finally born: "my boyfriend" said that we had to get married. I wanted to move to Egypt. But ... "my boyfriend" was still needing money [money!].

9) I remained in my country: I was sad, and I felt frustrated, despirited, and scared.

10) The Socialwelfare was going to help me and my child for 3 years. We became a "social case". NOW, IT WAS ME WHO -REALLY-NEEDED MONEY! This has been a great humiliation.

I GOT INTERESTED IN THE CULTURE OF "MY CHILD'S BIOLOGICAL FATHER": I am not surprised, that he had not respect for me (...).

He has been dishonest with me, and me I have been ingenuous. HE TOLD ME: "SOON MY PROBLEMS WILL FINISH. I WILL FIND A JOB, AND WE WILL LIVE TOGETHER, FOREVER". ME, I BELIEVED TO THIS!!!

[Hadiyati]

[Libera]

Dear Hadiyati, thank you for your reply. I do not see him since 3 years ago, and I do not listen to him since 10 months ago. I am living in my country, and that's since I knew that I was pregnant. This has been a must, because I could find a (necessary) job just here (in Egypt I couldn't find anything). I also had my doctor (gynecologist) -woman- here, whom I trusted -she also concretely helped me giving practically birth to the baby-. I wished that he could come over here, or that I could go to Egypt. I sent him what I could spare from my job (note: I was not payed like an employee, but like a co-worker, which means, very little), so that he could come over here. He spent those money to "solve his problems" in Egypt (?). I did not go to Egypt considered: a) the financial situation; b) our marital status -unexistant-. By the time I could understand (analyzing our "relation" and what happened -from major facts to little details-) that: a) he was very probably already married with an egyptian woman, and he already had a child with her; b) he very probably filled me with lies, lies, lies; c) he was just with me to get money from me and eventually a "visa for Europe" from me. A CHILD NEEDS A DECENT LIFE, NOT TO BE SURROUNDED BY "PARENTS" WHICH JUST THINK ABOUT THEMSELVES, LIES, AND TAKE ALL WHAT THERE IS AROUND (MONEY, ...) FOR SATISFYING THEIR OWN SELFISH NEEDS. I suffered a lot. I was believing in him, in this love, for which I renounced to everything of myself. Of course, like any mother (I think), "babies come first": I had to use the head (before using the heart), and organize my life in order to grant a decent life to the child (and not to myself or to """my""" man). I SEND YOU A HUGE HUG. Libera.

[Hadiyati]

I see that you are on a good way, libera!

you are strong enough to manage your life and that of your child. so far, so good.

apart from the pain, the suffering and the frustatration, do you still think of this man? during all this time did it never occur to you that he probably wasn't as serious about your relation as you were?

what is your intention now? and how do you see your future?

[Libera]

Dear Hadiyati, I forgot to tell you that he asked me money even after the child was born. That's why I eventually stopped listening to him. I obviously kept going on thinking about him: I was in love with him, and I wished that our relation was a TRUE love relation. But it wasn't. He was a liar, he told me lies all the time. I was trusting him: even when it came to islamic "several women" law he told me that "in Islam a man could have 4 women, but just if he can treat them equally. But since it is practically impossible, he can just have 1. And I was this 1". I just understood that financially he was too much demanding: I was wondering how could we live a whole life together, by that way (satisfying his financial needs). But he told me "no worry: soon I will stop needing money, and I will earn money, to support our family". I trusted him. [Eventually, 10 months ago, I understood that I could not trust him anymore, that I could not believe him anymore]. My intention is now to keep Islam "out of my door". It is too much tricky. And of course, I wish to be able to grant to my child a decent life (which isn't exactely easy in nowadays world). My intention is now to try and think about my child, and its future. This means: manking anything, practically and psichologically, which will grant it to live in a world where there is honesty, respect, organization, Rights, Duties, Democracy and Laicity. All this seems to have nothing to do with Love, but it has a lot to do with It. [It is like the ground where love can be seeded and where love can grow. Then, we need an open mind and an open heart, which could represent the sun and the water, which allow the seed to florish]. Now I go. Bye bye.

[Sina]

dear libera,

I feel deeply sorry for what you had to go through. I'm sure you have suffered a lot all that time, especially when you were pregnant. then you had to face the truth, that this man is a liar and a cheater. it takes time to get over this.

I think so too, you are on a good way to leave this all behind you and look forward, hopefully to a much better life for yourself and your child.

what is your country of origin? maybe i did not read it, but i think you never mentioned it. may i also ask you how old you are?

I wish you all the best and a nice sunday too

[Hadiyati]

[Libera]

Dear Sina and Hadyiati, thank you for your reply:

a) yes, it has been very difficult, above all during pregnancy. I know, it is a little thing, but I really missed his hand touching my belly with the baby inside. I really missed he being here when the baby came on this world. These are things which have no price -in the meaning of very precious- for me, but obviously for him they have no price -in the meaning that they worth nothing-;

b) sure, I will try to go on alone with my baby. But I am not going to pretend to have forgotten all the story. He tricked me, in a very good "business" style. And by the time, I understood why he allowed himself to "make business" with me (using lies and dirty-playing). I am not going to pretend to ignore it, and will try do to anything I can, to make other people aware of the fact that people with such a mentality, are ready to "make business" with them at any time, without any feeling of "compassion". I am not going to undervaluing (again) all the matter;

c) I had further experience with his (islamic) mentality. According to the imam of here: "when Bezness happens, the guilty one is the woman". I could understand that it is a raccist mentality, which I cannot support at all;

d) I comes from CH (and that's why I started taking part to this Forum. I knew about it on a Russian forum -Dezy House-), and I am around 30 years old;

e) I am very worried about the future of this World, where our nowadays children are going to live. For me -that I went to the point to wear a "burka" ...- Democracy and Laicity are two very important values, which I am going to defend as much as I can.

Thank you and I send you a huge hug and wishes of HAPPINESS.

d)

[Hadiyati]

[Libera]

[Hadiyati]

[Libera]

[winter]

hay to all, i have a belgian site about vacatian love and bezness, i was live in the middle of the bezness in hurghada,that,s way i started my site,i want to help all victims of bezness to understand the way of thinking and tricks of the beznesser,welcome to my site grt winter
i hope it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,s not forbidden to put my link hier
i only want to help and i will read the storys hier and answer all questians!
i ,m against bezness!!!!!
www.vakantieliefdesforumwinter.be

[Hadiyati]

hi winter

we have a welcome thread where I asked you wether you understand german or you prefer english.

no problem to put the link of your forum here (by the way, I already registered there... ), because I think cooperation is always good and should not stop at a country's border.

so welcome here and feel free to write and read. well, 95% is in german...but if you're interested in a particular post, I can translate it for you.

[winter]

thanks hadiyati, yes i will speak in english maybe you can translite it, if you want,i so it that u have registrate on my site ,thanks for that,and thanks for the welcome hier on your site

grt winter